were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
