I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
