So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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