You can't motorboat a personality
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My penis needs a shock collar
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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