if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
