What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
