Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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