New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize