It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
