I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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