it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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