erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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