i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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