whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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