I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
