I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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