I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
