I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize