There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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