Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're like the curious george of whores
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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