ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
