just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
