Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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