i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Operation Purity has been aborted
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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