I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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