Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
