Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize