Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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