Yo dont text me then not text me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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