Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize