Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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