Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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