I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
