BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
dude. I can hear the air.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
