you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she smelled like a LAN party
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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