Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
