HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize