Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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