I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
His nipple licking is glorious
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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