Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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