At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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