I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
