I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
