butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Still dying that you shit outside
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
