remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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