Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize