Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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