I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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