Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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