Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
