oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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