He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize