we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
