I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
