How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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