She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
