Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize