no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
