Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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