Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love you. Go after that dick
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize