I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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