yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
