I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pants are for mortals
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The ass gains better be worth it
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