Umm I'm too high to move.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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