i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
birth control should be required to get into college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
