You can't motorboat a personality
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
