I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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