is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
