Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
