At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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