just tell him i said nine months
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
