I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
