No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
my liver is dry heaving
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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