oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
