If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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