Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
