why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
